Constant overstimulation numbs me, and I wouldn’t have it any other way

“Constant overstimulation numbs me, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”- Maynard James Keenan

I am currently writing this from the capital of Bulgaria, Sofia. Every day I wake up and I leave wherever I happen to be staying and I see something new. Something I have never seen before obviously, but more importantly to this post, it is something I would have never seen if I would have valued stability over adventure. Wanderlust is a term thrown around more often than I would like but other than sharing a start with my surname it really embodies what my life has become.

I miss things at home. It has been about 2 months since I have seen it last and likely multiples more before I will see it again. I know that via blogging or social media things tend to look glossed over, or like I have the #bestlife. I can’t post pictures of the garbage on the streets of Athens, or the days I have that nothing good happens. I don’t filter my posts based on making anything I am doing look rosy, but more often it is a matter of what I would like to remember, my opinion of what people would like to see, and a bit of chance. The thing is that my disposition is as such that most often if I am going to take the time to post an image or words, it will be about what stood out the most in a day. Since my mindset is mostly positive these days it is reflected in my creativity. I want to make it clear though that, not every day is amazing, and not every place I take a picture of is as perfect as I frame it.

It is life though. How you frame things can literally become your reality. I have a huge fear that all these travels, experiences, will numb me. How will I experience life if I can’t see something new every day? The line previous to the above lyric is “boredom’s not a burden anyone should bear” People as some response to my life nervously say they are “jealous”. I am telling you now that there is nothing to be jealous of. I am just living my life the only way I know how to keep myself thriving. If you choose to be jealous anyways, consider not being jealous of the traveling, but instead that I chose to control my life and do what I needed to be happy. I imagine that is very different for everybody and I doubt most people would be suited to being a nomad.

I, on the other hand, seem built for it. I have a good routine. In only 2 months of paring down to just my backpack, I have learned a lot about the things I need, and the things I might need, and realize the things we might need are what anchor us down. We accumulate so much stuff that may be useful, someday, for something, and end up drowning in a sea of being ready for something that will likely never happen, and if it does your “what if” item is likely going to be the wrong thing. The minimalists have a 20/20 rule. If it can be replaced for $20 in 20 minutes and you have it just in case you need to let it go. That’s solid life advice.

As much as I miss certain things from home I place greater emphasis on the newness that each day brings me, which to me is a greater value. This is the embodiment of what “wanderlust” means to me. It is why I can miss things, but it doesn’t take my eyes off the next lilypad I need to jump on to get (or stay) across the pond.

In less existential regards I found my way back to Sofia due to a 6-day break in between Athens and the UK for a little over a month. I really loved my time here previously and I figured this was a perfect opportunity to tie up some loose ends on some things I would have liked to do and see in the 9 days I was here previously. I never really considered Eastern Europe as a place I would enjoy so much. I certainly plan to spend more time in these countries in the future. After the UK I have plans to be in India for most or all of September. I am absolutely missing the Netherlands hard, so, the couple weeks between the UK and India you will almost surely find me in my second home.

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